The Meds 3 (Tegratol)

Now this was a short and bitter love affair that lasted all of 30 minutes so it will be a short post. Tegratol was the first anti-convulsant I was placed on. I think I might be spelling that wrong too, it might be tegretol, but anyway I wake up one saturday morning and my sister and her baby boy are the only ones there to watch me. I get up take the pill and eat a bowl of Fruity Pebbles for breakfast. Then I start in on my Saturday full of video games. Next thing I know I am stumbling into the living room where my sister sees me covered in my regurgitated breakfast and wonders what happened. I wasn't even aware that I had vomit on my face, and in my hair, and wherever else it managed to fall. I had most likely had a seizure and then threw up my food. That put a stop to Tegratol for forever. Thankfully being the good sister that she is, she cleaned me up and the room where I had the seizure.

A Sage Life 1

I'm writing about my life just because sometimes it helps to put stuff down on paper but in this day and age its just as easy to do it on a laptop at 4 in the morning. A lot of the time people feel sorry for me when they know what all I have been through in life and that kind of annoys me. Yeah, I mean my life might not have a been an easy one so far but I don't want pity or anything like that because I am still just as human as every other person is and I want to be treated like it. I have been given more than most and I know I was somewhat spoiled as a child because I usually ended up with what I wanted but that never made me lose sight of what is important. I know what its like to have things but I also understand what it feels like to lose everything in a flash. That is one thing to think about though. I never lost EVERYTHING. If I did I wouldn't still be here and I would have my named carved into a gravestone a long time ago. When you think you've lost everything just take in what surrounds you and regain what you thought you lost.

Some want pity and some try to live their lives getting by off of other people feeling sorry for them. I'm sorry but that isn't good for anyone in anyway so just get over yourself and work to make your life better on your own because believe it or not, you can. Instead of wasting time with pity why not try and actually help someone get through a hard time in their life? Right now I am having one of my days where I feel like death. I don't mean I feel like crap or anything I mean I can feel it and not in some weird psycho way either. Not in a suicidal way either, just a day that life and death feel as normal to me as getting up and brushing my teeth and going to the bathroom.  I wish I had a better way to describe what I mean but thats the best I've got right now. So just make sure instead of feeling sorry for someone you actually do something to improve their life. Even for just one day, help another human, because it isn't about the destination. It is about what gets you there.

The Meds 2 (Lamictal)

The drug that almost killed me. I started this drug during my Christmas Break of my senior year of high school, and the day that I went back I had very bloodshot eyes and a very sore throat. I even went through basketball practice and I felt pretty good except for my throat. Then afterwards I started the trips to the ERs. One doctor told me I was getting chicken pox, while another gave me some "magic mouthwash" for my throat, another even went so far as to tell me I had a form of herpes, now none of these were true but the doctors just gave me prescriptions and sent me on my way. Now my mom and aunt knew what was happening and they would tell the doctors that and they would just get brushed off. Well later that night when my throat was so swollen I couldn't swallow we went to another ER an hour away where it wasn't looking like it was going to be any better, but eventually once I saw the doctor there he agreed that it was a very rare and severe allergic reaction called Stevens Johnsons Syndrome. Now that was the last thing I could remember for the next few weeks.

So while I was in a medically induced coma for nearly 2 weeks my skin was shedding and my face was falling off and my lips were huge, I have no recollection of most of it so this is what I've been told by family. I had to be given very very very expensive antibodies from other people in order to counteract the problem that the lamictal was making in my body. They tried to get pig skin for my face but to no avail. At one point I was cuffed to my bed because I allegedly attacked a nurse and tried to choke her, but I was heavily medicated during that time so I don't know what really happened. Now Stevens Johnsons Syndrome can cause blindness and other horrible side-effects but I luckily came out unscathed besides some spotted skin. It was pretty sad not getting to finish my senior year of basketball and missing 2 months of school but I survived that encounter with lamictal so I guess I shouldn't complain. I really wanted to post the pictures of me in the hospital online but my friend said that I shouldn't because they are rather grotesque but if you seen those pictures and then my prom pictures you would be shocked that that was the same kid because I made a great recovery. Just remember to watch out for everything when trying new meds.

The Meds 1 (Keppra XR)

Keppra XR is currently what I am taking and when I first started it, it worked relatively well. The seizures were controlled pretty well and I was also functioning pretty good too. Then I went to change to Lamictal another medicine that nearly killed me; more on that in the next post. Since that didn't work I went back to Keppra XR and it hasn't worked the same and it has been a lot harder on me. When I was younger I went 9, 10, and 11 months without a seizure, now within the last 6 months I have had a seizure nearly every 2 to 3 weeks. My brain couldn't function like it normally could. I was always a straight A student until I couldn't focus because of my medicine. I went from a 4.0 GPA in high school to a 2.7 in college and I had to drop a calculus class. I was taking 3000mg a day and that was almost unbearable but now I am at 2000mg and I am doing much better in every way.

The Seizure Diary 1

My name is Sage and I have had seizures since I was 15. Now I will be 19 in a few days so it isn't any big deal that I've been having seizures for nearly four years now but I finally decided to keep track of them since my memory is pretty much crap. I had one on July 5th after going just over a month without having one. Just a regular day I felt pretty good and I was at my aunt's house standing behind the couch and the next thing I know I am waking up on the floor. People might think having seizures are a horrible thing and I will admit that isn't a walk in the park but for me it isn't exactly the seizures that are the hard part to deal with. The worst thing is trying to find a medication that you can tolerate and that actually works too. I want to let anyone else who is dealing with something similar what I've been through and what I am going through so if there are any questions please feel free to ask.